Re-evaluating Life-As-We-Know-It (Nearing Military Retirement during Covid-19)

Valerie on the Move3 Comments

Hubby & I were already starting to re-evaluate Life-As-We-Know-It as we approach our military retirement, and then a whole new level of crazy occurred with Covid-19.  Now not just us, but everyone is forced to pause this crazy, busy life and re-evaluate. Be still and breathe.  Try not to panic.  Of course, it is easy to work myself into a tizzy while watching the economy tank. Easy to panic when separated by thousands of miles from our parents who are Covid’s prime targets.  Easy to dive under the bed covers to not face the growing, insurmountable uncertainty that is now everyone’s daily reality.

As a military family, we have already lived a life of uncertainty, with plans changing abruptly and dealing with the Heavy Hand of Government in our daily lives.  So in some ways, we are already prepared to accept the rapidly-changing new reality and are readily implementing the life-altering precautions. We understand it’s a personal responsibility and a personal sacrifice for the greater good. (It’s also a military order, so there’s that, too.)

Ready to take on 2020 with precautions & Patriotic Flair!

Already, our corner of the world is opening back up — with open arms to the tourists. But will this corner of the world open their arms to us?  His military retirement has been pushed back.  We transition to our new life maybe in July. We are not true retirees but moving on to 2nd careers.  One of us will need a job.  Will there be jobs to be had in our corner of the world? Unknown.  *stress*

As a resilient military spouse, I am trained to always find the silver lining in any situation. There is always a silver lining (no matter how much I complain otherwise). Our silver lining is that we are only moving across town and not cross-country. We are not starting completely anew in an unknown city.  Navigating through the unknown is incredibly draining, and I recognized earlier this year, pre-Covid, that I was completely depleted.  I could not muster an ounce of enthusiasm or energy to do one last major upheaval.  I could not play the family cheerleader. My Plan A was that we stay here in South Dakota and figure it out.

Covid-19 is moving us along to Plan B.  Our timelines are changing.  Our job prospects are perhaps not as strong.  But we are riding out this pandemic in South Dakota, and it is a relief to be “home.”  We are staying at home as much as possible, now and in the foreseeable future.  But maybe, just maybe, we will be ready to venture out into our adopted hometown, with plenty of hand sanitizer,  when we are “Retirees.”

Path of Least Resistance is my current mantra.

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Transition to Post-Military Life…I’m not ready!

Valerie on the MoveLeave a comment

My husband decided that he has had enough of the military lifestyle.  Ever since we neared the 20-year mark, which was several years ago, we have discussed our transition to post-miliIary life.  When we were “stuck” by our service commitment, dreaming of our future and entertaining a gazillion what-if scenarios was fun.  Who do we want to be? Where do we want to live? Would we choose location first and figure out how to make it work? Or would we choose 2nd career and go where the next job might be?

And here we are now…a retirement date set in the near future, and we are without a plan.  Neither firm location nor job prospects. A gazillion what-if scenarios are not quite so entertaining  or refreshing when we will be homeless in 6 short months. I am a woman who always has a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C.  Never have I been a woman with No Plan! And that’s exactly who I am at the moment. It’s unfamiliar territory for me.

I better understand why people stay put at their last duty station–Path of least resistance! We are dreaming big as we decide our path forward, but we are also trying to prioritize, be realistic with short-term and long-term goals for ourselves and our children, and always are mindful of finances and responsibilities (Ugh!).  

Why don’t we stay in lovely South Dakota, you ask?  Ask me this in the summer and I’m all for it. Ask me now as winter approaches, my enthusiasm for this area is nonexistent.  I don’t much care for cold, snow, or howling wind. Although if we do stay in the local area, we must move away from the prairie’s edge.  The wind is so brutal and unforgiving here where I currently live. I just don’t want to deal with it any more–Since October, I’ve practically lived in my sleeping bag coat!

As we settle into the long winter season, I will be working hard on defining & deciding on the next phase of our life.   I’m open to suggestions!

Rapid City Is Awesome…in the Summer! I’m Getting Excited to Hibernate.

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City View from Dinosaur Park. July 2018. Rapid City, SD.

Snow is in the forecast.  I’m cold.  I’m cranky.  Where is Fall?

With cold days like this, it’s easy to forget how awesome Rapid City is, primarily because I have little motivation to leave my house.

When we first arrived this past summer, I was pleasantly surprised with Rapid City.  As much as I love Hawaii, it’s also crowded and expensive in paradise. Rapid City and the Black Hills have so much to offer – to see, eat, and do, especially if you love the great outdoors.

Hubby had to work, our household goods were in transit, the kids and I had little else to do but explore our new hometown.  We had so much fun playing tourist, although we have yet to visit Mount Rushmore or Crazy Horse!  (We were initially waiting for visitors, and then our visitors ironically didn’t care to go.)

Oh, the places we’ve been!  Here are a few notable destinations:

Badlands National Park

Rapid City Memorial Park

City of Spearfish 4th of July Parade

Custer State Park – Sylvan Lake, Wildlife Loop, Cathedral Spires, Sunday Gulch Trail

Dahl Art Center

Dinosaur Park

Downtown Square @ Rapid City

Harriet & Oak Café *my favorite coffee shop*

Journey Museum

M Hill

Mammoth Site

Prairie Edge Art Gallery & Trading Post

Sip-n-Stretch @ Hay Camp Brewing Company with Sol Yoga Collective

Spearfish Canyon – Devil’s Bathtub Trail

Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

Wall Drug

Watiki

 

Now that we are settling in and school has started, our routine is much more mundane.  Less tourist, more daily living – school & work engagements, dog walks, never-ending grocery shopping/cooking cycle.  I am spending a small fortune outfitting us all for the cold weather.  After wearing shorts and slippahs for two years, we have zero cold weather gear.  I’ve been told by the seasoned locals that having the proper gear makes all the difference in handling the cold and wind of Sodak.  I just bought a long winter coat that looks like it could double as a sleeping bag.  Fashionable? Maybe.  I just hope when I do venture outdoors, it will keep me warm and toasty (and less cranky).

The hubby and kids are super excited for the winter.  As long as they don’t mind me watching from inside by the window, standing guard over the hot chocolate and baking comfort foods, I guess I’m excited, too.

The moving stats — Hawaii to South Dakota

Valerie on the Move1 Comment

40+ days and counting since we have been living out of a suitcase. (* No word yet on actual delivery date of household goods. *)

11 shipping crates of our domestic bliss, approx. 12,000 lbs of stuff.

500 lbs of Unaccompanied Baggage of household essentials. (* Murphy’s Law guarantees this to be the last arrival. *)

19 mind-boggling, stressful hours waiting for word that the family dog has successfully landed in the correct destination on the mainland.

6-hour flight with an inoperable onboard entertainment system to the mainland with 2 kids depending on an operable onboard entertainment system.

21 days from drop off to pickup of family car at the Vehicle Processing Center.

1500 miles, 5-state, 3-day road-trip with 2 cars, 2 kids, and 1 set of grandparents.

55 degree cold and rainy weather welcome by Mother Nature.

0 warm weather outfits.

Complete suspension of normal family budgeting and financial operations!

Too many good-byes to count.

1 grand military family adventure to the great state of South Dakota!

Just a few hiccups: Misplaced car registration, $1500 travel bill for the Dog, Tears & Curses, Sciatica.

Are we there yet?  YES!

Are we having fun yet?  YES!

And I still have unpacking to look forward to…

Wishing you a happy, safe, low stress PCS season!

60 Days Until I Leave Paradise for South Dakota

Valerie on the Move2 Comments

Maybe 60 days.  Of course, he doesn’t have orders yet.   Only the invisible Hand of Military Assignment knows about orders, and he’s indifferent.  Who knows or cares?

Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills of South Dakota

The Handsome Hubby has a Report No Later Than Date.  The rest of the family will get there when we get there.  The good news is that I have no hard deadlines with this move.  After our one-year separation, I expect that I will do this move alone.  Or more accurately, I will do this move with the help of my military spouse tribe.

I do give kudos to the Hubby though, as he is planning on stopping here in Hawaii for 9 days to help with the move.  I, however, anticipate that getting a pack out date within his 9-day window is best case scenario.  And we know how that goes, especially for my family.  If it makes sense, then no, it won’t be.  If it is convenient, then definitely not.  Orders 60 days out?  Pfft…amateur…please.  How many days until it’s ridiculous?  That’s our MO.  “Ridiculous” is when we will get our orders and then we will jump through hoops to get it done.

What’s a few more weeks in Hawaii?  I’m not in a hurry to leave.  I want Hawaii to be my forever home.  I have loved just about everything here, and my time, experiences, and friendships have been truly awesome!  I found my way back to my love of dance, and there has been plenty of opportunity to dance – ballroom, salsa, burlesque, Bollywood, hula, hip hop.

I am currently a graduate student at UH Manoa.  No surprise here that this move to South Dakota puts a stop to my graduate studies. Or at least a major slowdown while I recalibrate and try to figure out how to make it work.   I toyed with the idea of staying in Hawaii to finish the degree program, but quickly ixnayed the idea.  Our kids are anxious to reunite the family, so another year without dad is a no go.  I do not want to be separated from my kids, so a year alone in Hawaii is a no go.   Add the financial implications of maintaining two households, and the answer becomes clear.

But not without a bit of resentment because it’s going to be “I’m cold, I’m cranky, and I’m too old for this” kind of cold in South Dakota.

Insert the positive platitudes and pep talk from the well-meaning among us: “Oh that part of the state doesn’t get as much snow because it’s in the Banana Belt.”  Yes, banana belt.  Look it up.  Please know I am smiling ever-so-politely and nodding in agreement when this is said to my face, while the Mean Voice inside my head is shouting not-so-polite things.  “Oh, what an adventure this is!”

There you have it.  I’m living this military life in one-year increments. This next assignment is for two years, supposedly.  Just like Korea was a two-year assignment, supposedly.  “Oh, what an adventure this is!”

Onward and upward…with a coat…to the Mount Rushmore State!

Aloha!